urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pod4477 pod4477 pod4477 2004-07-01T04:43:38Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:pod4477:1342 2038-01-19T03:14:07Z 2004-07-01T04:43:38Z In this life i lead<br />Pains and struggles seem<br />to take over my thoughts<br />I've held you so close to my heart<br />but now its time to let go<br /><br />And id'e die for you<br />Would you die for me?<br />I now realize<br />What we could be<br />And i would not change it for anything<br />(But this doesn't mean we can't still be close)<br /><br />Maybe i dont need all i want<br />Maybe its a lie to take my peace<br />Maybe its a selfish lie that took <br />control of me<br /><br /><br />Well that pretty much tells what i'm feeling. I've finally felt closure with the whole Rachel thing. It might sound gay but when I saw spider-man 2 tonight something inside of me clicked and i felt real closure for the first time in weeks. In the movie all the main character wants is the girl. During the movie he says a line that I will never forget, "maybe im not soposed to get what i want." I took this to heart tonight and realized that all this was sorta an illusion or something, something i wanted but couldn't have. I know she doesn't want the same thing i want or wanted so i need to move on and realize maybe it wasn't meant to be. Pray for me cuz i know i need it.<br />Love Mark