pod4477

WOW

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 03:59:42 GMT

Forget everything in the past, I'm in love. I found Jess and shes amazingggggggggg. Well worth the wait!

Peace

Doing gooood

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 05:16:02 GMT

Hey havent updated for a while. Feeling aloooooot better. Im still single lol but who cares. When the time comes i'll be happy. I'm still playing guitar alot and FAYZ is going great. Much love.

Peace

YoYoYo

Sat, 13 Nov 2004 04:35:24 GMT

"I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel"

I found the best friggan song!! Scars by Papa Roach. Awesome, Aweosme!! Well anyway an update for ya and if you dont care then go screw in the corner haha. I feel alot better than I did over the damn summer. I kinda wish there was some nice weather now that I'm in a much better mood these days, but the snow is really awesome. I've been working out alot more and got my motivation back. My AWESOME band FAYZ is doing great. We've worked on about 3 new songs and are practicly done with a brand new acoustic one. It sounds awesome guys!

I also figured I'd redo this part of a quiz thingy I did way back.

[x.] Current Clothes: Jeans and my quicksilver long sleave shirt.
[x.] Current Mood: Happy
[x.] Current Taste: My mouth
[x.] Current Hair: Short and very clean
[x.] Current Annoyance: None man
[x.] Current Smell: nothing
[x.] Current thing you ought to be doing = takeing a shower(which I will in a few minutes)
[x.] Current Book = Haha ya like I read.
[x.] Current Refreshment = nothing
[x.] Current Worry = Will I ever grow

As you can see it's much better lol
"I can't help you fix yourself, but at least I could say I tried. I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life"
Peace

Quiz Thingy

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 04:03:57 GMT

I decided to do this quiz.
[x.] name = Mark Pennio
[x.] nicknames = Welbi(after the guy markus welbi), Marky, Stupid(haha jk)
[x.] birthday = March 14th 1989
[x.] piercings = none
[x.] tattoos = nope not for me, but might when I'm older!
[x.] height = Around 5'4 I think(sucks to be me)
[x.] shoe size = 10
[x.] hair color = Black and proud of it!
[x.] length = friggan short
[x.] pets = None

LAST:
[x.] movie you rented = So long ago I forget
[x.] movie you bought = The Passion
[x.] song you listened to = My December by Linkin Park
[x.] song that was stuck in head = Bleeding Mascara by Atreyu
[x.] song you've downloaded = Panama by Van Halen
[x.] CD you bought = "This Type Of Thinking Could Do Us In" by Chevelle
[x.] CD you listened to = Various cd I made
[x.] person you've called = My Mom to ask for a ride lol
[x.] person that's called you = Rachel
[x.] TV show you've watched = Lizzy Maguire(it's on cuz I keep the tv on when I'm on the computer).
[x.] person you were thinking of = Rachel and Hannah and of course ME.

DO:
[x.] you have a bf or gf = I wish, I've been torn up by the fact that I dont
[x.] you have a crush on someone = yes but I really wouldn't call it a crush anymore
[x.] you wish you could live somewhere else = Yes of course I do, Weymouth is boring.
[x.] you think about suicide = Hmm..i have before
[x.] you believe in online dating = lol sure do
[x.] others find you attractive = Yes which I still got!! Well of course lol
[x.] you want more piercings = I have none and dont want any.
[x.] you drink = Nope underage.
[x.] you do drugs = No.
[x.] you smoke = No...i think it's a very bad habit to start and I wouldn't be able to pay for it haha.
[x.] you like cleaning = depends on if it is inspired or not.
[x.] you like roller coasters = Hate those things.
[x.] you write in cursive or print = Print, my cursive stinks
[x.] you carry a donor card = nope
[x.] teenage smoking = Nope
[x.] doing drugs = Nope
[x.] driving drunk = No that is stupid
[x.] soap operas = STUPID! and wicked boring!

BEST:
[x.] tv show = Seinfeld all the way!!
[x.] thing in the world = being loved!
[x.] thing to collect = Guitars!
[x.] thing to do on a rainy day = Watch the rain!
[x.] feeling in the world = Didn't I just answer that you stupid quiz thingy?

FAVORITE:
[x.] food = Chicken, any form of chicken!
[x.] song = "What's This Life For" by Creed and "Outkast" by P.O.D.
[x.] sport = Baseball and football
[x.] drinks = Coke and orange soda
[x.] clothes = My jeans, sweatshirt, and my long sleeve shirts.
[x.] movies = Spider-Man 1&2, Bond movies, Mission Impossible 1&2 and all Bond movies.
[x.] holiday = Christmas and halloween(if you consider that a holiday)

HAVE YOU:
[x.] ever cried over a boy/girl = No crap I have. Happens alot unfortunatly.
[x.] ever lied to someone = yeah
[x.] ever been in a fist fight = Yup but nothing too serious.
[x.] ever been arrested = Nope! Havent had any reason to be.

WHAT:
[x.] shampoo do you use = Head and Shoulders
[x.] perfume/cologne do you use = Axe
[x.] shoes do you wear = New Balance
[x.] are you scared of = Rejection and massive pain, like everyone is lol.

NUMBER:
[x.] of times I have been in love? = well lets see...5 crushes and only once I've been in love but not in love back.
[x.] of continents I have lived in? = one
[x.] of drugs taken illegally? = None
[x.] of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? maybe like 6
[x.] of people I consider my enemies? = A few people I know.
[x.] of cd's that I own? = Tons and Tons and wait..Tons!
[x.] of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = Once. I don't really care.
[x.] of scars on my body? = one, right next to my eye
[x.] of things in my past that I regret? = So many times that I lost count. There was only one major one though, but I've learned to not regret it anymore.

HAVE YOU EVER:
[x.] Fallen for your best friend? = YES, I know all too well about how that goes.
[x.] Made out with JUST a friend? = Yea right.....I wish haha, if you want to call me. haha
[x.] Been in love? = Yup and it sucks.
[x.] Cheated on someone? = noone to cheat on!!! And I wouldn't cheat on someone anyway.

HAVE YOU/ARE YOU/DO YOU:
[x.] Considered a life of crime? = Yup
[x.] Considered being a hooker? = WTF
[x.] Considered being a pimp? = idk
[x.] Are you psycho? = Nope
[x.] Split personalities? = Many would think so
[x.] Schizophrenic? = no
[x.] Obsessive compulsive? = maybe....sometimes I guess
[x.] Panic? = often
[x.] Anxiety? = yes very often...i worry all the time
[x.] Depressed!? = Most often, I am right now.
[x.] Suicidal? = not very seriously but yes...
[x.] Obsessed with hate? = Often
[x.] Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore? = A bit, but blood and gore makes me sick.
[x.] Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? = Nope. Gota be stupid to.
[x.] Understanding = Very!
[x.] Open-minded = I try...but i'm not going to change what i believe just cause you say to worship twigs, hahaha love that one.
[x.] Interesting = Sometimes
[x.] Hungry = All the time, I'm a growning boy (although I'm dang short still).
[x.] Friendly = Very
[x.] Childish = um people tell me I'm mature
[x.] Healthy = I guess I work out and walk alot and stuff... but I could do better
[x.] Difficult = hahaha I can be difficult
[x.] Attractive = I believe I am and so do some people. They know what's hot.
[x.] Thirsty = Nah im good right now.
[x.] Responsible = Not always....
[x.] Sad = Yes a lot
[x.] Happy = hmm not really...not at the moment
[x.] Trusting = somewhat
[x.] Talkative = Yes...very.
[x.] Different = hahaha yeah
[x.] Lonely = That one word sums up how I feel/felt lately.
[x.] Floss daily? = Yup, have to cause my teeth have sucked.
[x.] Own a webcam? = Nope
[x.] Ever get off the computer? = lol yeah

CURRENTS:
[x.] Current Clothes: Jeans and my hoodie.
[x.] Current Mood: Sad, and wicked lonely
[x.] Current Taste: My mouth
[x.] Current Hair: Short and messy...hat hair!
[x.] Current Annoyance: Rachel loving Chris...God I hate that.aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and also me all alone here at my house.
[x.] Current Smell: nothing
[x.] Current thing you ought to be doing = sleeping
[x.] Current Book = Haha ya like I read. Sry Hannah, lol
[x.] Current Refreshment = nothing
[x.] Current Worry = Will Rachel or any girl ever be close to me and actually like me.
[x.] Current Crush = I dont wana say it but its still kinda Rachel. Off and on you know.

Going to Blindside!!

Wed, 18 Aug 2004 00:33:59 GMT

I'm going to the Blindside concert tomorrow. I can't friggan wait!!!! Sry to Rachel if shes reading this. And hope ya get better. Well im feeling pretty good today emotionally. Not so good physicly as ive been sick all day and really really tired from people working on my house early in the morning. I'll update after the concert.

Hey everyone

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 05:23:17 GMT

Wow my posts over the past months have been wicked negitive. Time for some positive ones. I got back from Soulfest a few days ago and it was truely an amazing trip. I got to leave weymouth for 5 days and forget everything thats been going on. I saw some aweosme bands there too. Pillar was the best there in my opinion and the other aweosme ones were Spoken, Magni, and Relient K. Man the mosh pit for Pillar was sooo sick. Suprisingly the pit for Relient K was crazy too. I think it was at the Pillar concert that my whole outlook changed and soemthing left me that ive wanted to leave for the longest time. I finally let go and im moving on and looking to the future. All in all this trip was extremely fun and just what the doctor order. haha. I went with my friend Matt and my parents. We just chilled there and saw bands like I said before and went swimming and we rode the ski lifts like 8 times a day. Well i'll post more some other time and ill post pics also. Plus i also have a GreatestJournal account with i believe the same name.

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 17:15:33 GMT

ha sorry for the last post it was just me complaining. But hey i felt liek complaining that day. Well ihad fun yesterday got to see Ashlee Simpson from the second floor of the plaza. All those little girls screaming gave me a really bad headache. Anyway it was cool i went with Rachel and ehr friend Tina. I also met up with an old friend Brian whos wicked cool now. g2g ttyl.

i dont know

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 21:33:39 GMT

i dont know what i feel. i really feel like curling up in a ball and staying there and just crying my heart out. The past few days have been nice because ive felt i was over rachel. but right now i dont know if i am. Shes been constantly(i feel) mean towards me. well this might sound gay but it really hit me hard. My friend donny wrote a song for his girlfriend and i have a nice guitar aprt in it. So rachel goes to him "nice going donny" with a high five and i go do i get one and she says welll donny had a beautiful guitar part. what about me?? do i get any credit for anything i do. i feel rejected by her and by everyone. I feel so alone and i dont know what to do. If you think this is some attempt for sympathy then fuck off cuz it's not.

Mon, 05 Jul 2004 16:56:46 GMT

Take the quiz IF YOU DARE!
01. who are you, what's our relationship:
02. how and where did we meet:
03. what's my middle name:
04. how long have you known me:
05. tell me one good thing about myself:
06. when you first saw me what was your impression:
07. my age:
08. birthday:
09. my favorite band at the moment:
10. colour eyes:
11. do i have any siblings:
12. have you ever had a crush on me:
13. what's one of my favorite things to do:
14. do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you:
15. describe me in 3 words:
16. name 5 things i love:
17. do you think i'm good looking(be honest):
18. how would you describe me to someone:
19. would you ever date me:
20. tell me one thing you've always wanted to say but never did:
21: what do you like most about me:
22: if we could spend a day together what would we do:
23: have we ever gotten in a fight:
24: do you think we will be friends for at least 3 or 4 more years:
25. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
26. What do you think my weakness is?
27. Do you think I'll get married?
28. What makes me happy?
29. What makes me sad?
30. What reminds you of me?
31. If you could give me anything what would it be?
32. When's the last time you saw me?
33. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
34. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
35. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?
36. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?
37. What song (if any) reminds you of me?
38. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
39. Would you make a move on me?
40. Do I cross your mind at least 1 time a day?
41. If you could change one thing about our relationship past present and future what would it be?

finally feeling closure

Thu, 01 Jul 2004 04:29:14 GMT

In this life i lead
Pains and struggles seem
to take over my thoughts
I've held you so close to my heart
but now its time to let go

And id'e die for you
Would you die for me?
I now realize
What we could be
And i would not change it for anything
(But this doesn't mean we can't still be close)

Maybe i dont need all i want
Maybe its a lie to take my peace
Maybe its a selfish lie that took
control of me

Well that pretty much tells what i'm feeling. I've finally felt closure with the whole Rachel thing. It might sound gay but when I saw spider-man 2 tonight something inside of me clicked and i felt real closure for the first time in weeks. In the movie all the main character wants is the girl. During the movie he says a line that I will never forget, "maybe im not soposed to get what i want." I took this to heart tonight and realized that all this was sorta an illusion or something, something i wanted but couldn't have. I know she doesn't want the same thing i want or wanted so i need to move on and realize maybe it wasn't meant to be. Pray for me cuz i know i need it.
Love Mark

Wanting to heal

Tue, 29 Jun 2004 02:53:41 GMT

Man, i want to get back to normal again. I wana feel good again and good about myself. I have felt wierd lately and i know i have to get over her. So the getting over process begins now. Thank you to everyone (you know who u are) who supported and loved me, even through all this. And thanx Rachel for being such a good friend i appreciate it more than you could ever imagine. Love you all and i ask if you can pray for me!!

sad again

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 01:01:45 GMT

yes thats true but for different reasons. God i just want to be in love, everywhere i go people have it, i know im young but i just want someone to love. well im out, seeya.

Feeling better!!

Sat, 26 Jun 2004 18:26:39 GMT

Im feeling a little better today. i Hope it lasts. I have finally realized i have to move on. I want to find more things to do this summer. Im still very bored but im gona go to the plaza now so ill be back lata. Peace

feeling shitty

Tue, 22 Jun 2004 04:39:54 GMT

man i just got back from skatetown. damn i love and hate that place. everytime i go there i end up coming home feeling so alone. rgggg i feel like everyone takes the spotlight away from me. Rachel was going to tell me something, sat down and then i go to talk and ben is there first. kinda like a metaphor for my life. always somone there first. no matter what i do. every girl ive ever liked somehow doesnt like me back and it kills me everytime. Everytime i think im good something always brings me down. i feel so alone again im sick of being such a nice guy people must have fun walking all over me. This whole night it felt like everyone hated me. its like noone cared about me. rrrrrr i still like rachel and its killing me, shes not, but the situation is. Im getting tired so im out.